life as it is

My darkest day.

One of the darkest days of my life.

I’ve never this sad since my dad and my grandma. All I wanna do is eat and eat and shop and shop! I find those two therapeutic.

I spent Saturday night at McDonalds and found myself wandering around the city, alone, crying. It’s super depressing to be absent on a such day.

I’m not making a mountain out of a molehill. If you never lose someone close and dear to your heart, you wouldn’t be able to be in my shoes and you certainly would’t understand how bad I wanna escape these stupid four walls of my bedroom to somewhere crowded with battalions of strangers. It’s like I can put my grief aside for a minute when I’m outside. But then I know, when I get back to my room, BAM! all the memories flash before my eyes again and there’s me, crying.

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