life as it is

Lying for Dummies

Everybody lies but here’s the real deal. What you need to have and do to lie flawlessly.

  1. The face. Not just any face but the IT face. The face like seconds after you got your dose of Botox. Not like I have done it but yeah you know what I mean. And also you need to know when to apply it—the face, not the dose. Avoid nervous twitch and overdone pout at all.
  2. Eyes! Wear that blank stare straight into the eyes of your victims. Go against the typical youblinkmorewhenyoulie stereotyping. Hold your lids still. This is an eye to eye business we’re talking about, alright?
  3. They say think before you act. Twice or more is better. Well, not on the lie department. If you feel like lying, just go ahead. Don’t ever hesitate. Do it on the spot. Don’t wait because the more you wait, the more you think and the more you think, the more you panic.
  4. Wordings. You need to be extra extra careful with your words. It’ll break or make you. Redundancy is a fat no because repeated words cause a scene and you certainly don’t need that. Oh, you might need to get your pitch, accent and everything oral checked as well. And don’t tell your lies exactly like the first time you sell it. Same content, different wording. You don’t wanna make them sound rehearsed or scripted.
  5. Non-spoken language. Speak your body right. Don’t stiff and don’t go way too hyper like you’re on drugs either. Act cool. I know it’s not easy, that’s why you need to check item number 6.
  6. Talent. No talent, no lie and I’m not lying. How’d you know if you are talented? Easy. Try a lie. If you’re not yet busted by the time you read this, you’re luckily talented. And don’t worry if you’re not. Practice makes perfect, remember? But don’t jump straight to bigger ones. White lie’s good for a beginner.
  7. Courage and bravery. You know how these two go.
  8. Brainy. You don’t have to be super smart but you need to have a big brain to store up all your lies. Remember your lies. All. Of. Them. You don’t want to come up with different versions of story for a single lie you tell.
  9. And speaking of which, in case of kaput, go back to number one.

And go………

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